I am blind.
No colours or forms, no vivid landscapes, no unique faces or visible features for my memory to cling to. Instead, I immerse myself in the descriptions of brilliant flowers blooming across large expanses –wild, untouched and in abundance— of crystal-clear waters that sparkle with life, and of the soul-piercing blue of the sky. Try as I might, to make sense of this poetic imagery, my reality remains clouded by an ever-present haze. No lustre on the waves or fields of glorious hues. I am blind.
Despite these annoyances –these limitations— I live quite a full, near-ordinary life: a 17-year-old girl with a mother and father, an iPhone, a YouTube addiction and an affinity for literature (the Audible kind, of course). To onlookers, I appear happy, quiet and introspective.
Appearances, however, can be deceiving. I would know. Where first impressions are concerned, appearances don’t hinder me from getting to know someone on a deeper level, they can’t. On the flip side, when my first impression is being judged, I am mercilessly betrayed by the simple and obvious fact that I, well, that I am blind.
Still, a small shimmer of stardust penetrates the life-choking smog. Hope ebbs into my soul from this spark warming my heart. Amidst the tangled mess of my melodramatic existence, there is a fire burning and I will never let it go.
I am blind, but I see the world.
Nine years ago, I scribbled these words on paper, “I am blind.” The description flowed from my pen and I had a character: a blind girl living in a physically and morally dark world. But despite being blind, she exemplified this profound ability to see with the eyes of her heart.
I probably have ten versions of this internal dialogue in my portfolio. It has evolved over the years, but Ainslinn’s clear character sketch has remained unchanged. I figured I’d share an example of her here, although it is likely to transform again. Her intriguing story is what prompted my latest novel, Blind (currently in the outlining stages, but stay POSTED!) . Sadly, Ainslinn was actually cut from the story, but she inspired the concept. Perhaps, one day, I will explore Ainslinn’s story in depth and create a novella (I owe her -haha). But, for now, I hope you enjoyed this flash fiction sample of poetic prose.
As always, thank you for reading and God bless!
-VanessaMarieCaron
Vanessa Marie Caron, Author 